Here's what men say about the appeal of older women.
Jason
Momoa, 39, and 51-year-old Lisa Bonet (who changed her name to Lilakoi
Moon), attend the premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures' 'Aquaman' at TCL
Chinese Theatre on December 12, 2018 in Hollywood, California.Axelle/Bauer-Griffin / FilmMagic
Editor's note: One of our top stories of 2018 was this
post on why younger men fall for older women, a topic we explored in
April when French President Emmanuel Macron, 41, and his 65-year-old wife, Brigitte,visited Washington for a state visit. "If I was 20 years older than my wife, nobody would think for a single second that we couldn't be legitimately together," Macron has said. Macron's marriage isn't unique. "Aquaman" actor Jason Momoa is
12 years younger than wife and actress, Lisa Bonet. And actor Hugh
Jackman is 13 years younger than wife, Deborra-Lee Jackman. And it's not
only celebrities and politicians who understand the attraction.
In
"Older Women, Younger Men: New Options for Love and Romance," authors
Felicia Brings and Susan Winter interviewed more than 200 men to
discover the allure of the so-called "Mrs. Robinson syndrome." You'll be
surprised at what men find appealing about older women.
"I'd
do it again? Definitely, no question. Oh yeah, and once you've done it,
you definitely look at older women in another way."—Nick, 33
We've
made our position known and shared the thoughts and experiences of the
women to whom we talked. Now it's time to let the men speak for
themselves. One important question we asked was what they felt an older
woman has to offer. Here are some answers which are clear, articulate
and to the point. Their sentiments represent a very large proportion of
the opinions we heard expressed.
French
President Emmanuel Macron and his wife Brigitte greet members of the
public at the Lincoln Memorial in April, 2018. Macron has said the
criticism his marriage has received stems from sexism. Getty Images
"I
met Karolina at a party given by some friends. When I saw her, I
thought she was just the perfect woman for me and I was sure about that.
I wasn't looking for an older woman and Karolina wasn't looking for a
younger man, but it just happened. (I was 39 and she was 55 then.) Our relationship is unique, because it's not just built on sex,
but on trust, respect and love. We are both morning people and nearly
always in a good mood. We are both hard-working with many hobbies in
common. In my opinion, age has nothing to do with our relationship. In
our twenty-five years together, we have never had a serious problem and
we are still very happy."—Paolo, 64
"Pat is
very special. Not only is she beautiful, but she has a wonderful sense
of humor and is very giving. The ability to talk about anything with her
was refreshing and engaging. In fact, when I first met her, I didn't
know I was attracted to an 'older' woman. I knew she was older than I,
but I didn't realize the disparity in age until she told me (which
didn't happen until a couple of dates into our relationship). Pat
offered me space, devotion and herself, which I couldn't find in anyone
else. I take better care of myself now. She is a best friend who
reflects back to me what a good person I am, which builds my confidence
and self-esteem. I now have a better job and feel better about myself
than ever before."—Neil, 35
Nigel, at 37, finds himself attracted to older women, in
part for their clarity and substance and also their relaxed attitude
about life:
"I find that I'm attracted to a woman who
has some degree of self-possession. I like the stimulation of a sharp
intellect. I enjoy sitting down to dinner with someone who has a level
of conversation I can appreciate and enjoy. I think younger women are
sometimes too focused on starting families and that is rarely an issue
with older women. I've always had relationships with older women. They
know themselves. They have so much more to offer and they are looking
for different things. They are not just looking for guys who will be
good fathers and providers. Older women can be more playful. They are
more relaxed. It's really a personality thing for me regarding what is
attractive. I enjoy a confident attitude and older women definitely have the upper hand in that area."
Dan, age 24, also expressed a similar theme:
"When
I meet a woman over 30, she's usually very clear and focused. She knows
what she wants in life and it makes being with her so much easier. I
look at a lot of my friends who have girlfriends their age and younger
and the problems they have strike me as ridiculous. They frequently act
foolish and immature. I don't have time for that behavior—that's why I
like mature women."
That life experience is sexy was also a repeated theme:
"Just
the fact that there's so much to learn from an older woman, that they
have so many more life experiences to draw upon, is an adventure to me.
It's like a rush."—Vincent, 31
Some young men saw themselves reflected back in an older woman and realized the woman's own specialness:
"She
was very beautiful and caring and we had similar interests. She offered
me the opportunity to see another perspective on a lot of different
issues. I mean, older women think differently on certain issues and
they've got more experience. I grew up a lot with her. Yeah, definitely,
she helped me to grow up. She made me realize how important I could be
in making someone else happy. Not that I was doing it for her, but just
being with her."—Art, 27
Jason
Momoa, 39, and 51-year-old Lisa Bonet (who changed her name to Lilakoi
Moon), attend the premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures' 'Aquaman' at TCL
Chinese Theatre on December 12, 2018 in Hollywood, California.Axelle/Bauer-Griffin / FilmMagic 
Reviewed by Revolutionary
on
January 19, 2019
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